Immunity
by Hatsu Yukiya
Summary: How bad is Nanami's cooking, really?


A bright morning dawned in Genkaku Castle. Despite the war raging around the inhabitants, all was peaceful.

It wouldn't be for long.

Nanami was an early riser. She was already awake and was fixing her headband around her short brown locks. Looking in the mirror, she declared herself satisfied and headed out the door. Not many people seemed to be awake. Ahead of Nanami was Luc keeping up his constant vigil in front of the stone tablet. Further down the entrance hall Viki was snoring away, leaning heavily against the Blinking Mirror.

You could lay down, you know, Nanami thought silently towards the teleportress.

Nanami frowned to herself. As much as she might like living in this castle, sometimes it was rather...boring. At least, it was in the morning. In the afternoon, it was fun. There were shops and the dojo was open and if she was lucky there weren't any strategy meetings. That was what she liked least, planning for battle. Actually, scratch that; what Nanami liked least was that her younger brother had to lead an army for a nation they weren't apart of against their best friend who betrayed them to rule over the enemy.

The girl's disgruntled thoughts were interrupted by a loud grumbling coming from her own stomach. She veered sharply to the left, heading up the stairs instinctively in the direction of the kitchen. Nanami could hear delicious sizzling sounds and smells wafting gently into the open hallway. She picked up her pace and poked her head around the corner.

"Hey there, Hai Yo!" she called out cheerfully. The chef spun around, not releasing his grip on the cast-iron pan he held.

"Good morning, Lady Nanami," he answered back. "I wasn't aware you awoke so early."

"I usually sleep a little more, but most of the time I'm awake pretty much before everyone. What are you doing?"

Hai Yo waggled his pan at her. "Lady Nanami, I have an entire army to feed! If I don't wake up to cook it will never get done, the Orange Army would starve, and where would we be?"

"Would you like some help?"

If Nanami wasn't mistaken, she could have sworn she saw the chef pale a little. However, he recovered so quickly she passed it off a a trick of the light.

"Of course," Hai Yo replied brightly, almost too much so. "I have heard some tales of Lady Nanami's cooking...prowess."The girl grinned at this. She knew how to cook; she made food for Riou and Genkaku for years. Peeling off her gloves, she stuck her chest out and asked,

"What can I do here?"

xXx

About half an hour later, there was a crashing sound coming from the restaurant. Nanami peered through the door and raised her eyebrows at the sight.

Viktor was slumped against the door frame, supported by an exhausted and bedraggled Flik and a curiously nonchalant Tir McDohl.

"What happened to him?" the girl asked incredulously.

"He's hung over," Tir told her, no change in his deadpan tone of voice.

"It was wild at Leona's place last night," Flik huffed. "The big guy went a little crazy. We figured food would make him feel better, since it usually does."

Nanami's eyes travelled over the curious party. "Were you all drinking?" She was looking at Tir, who stared back evenly.

"Yes?"

She blinked. "But you're..."

"I don't get drunk."

Leona let you drink in the first place?

"I'm eighteen," Tir said. Nanami shivered slightly. Tir had a strange way of knowing exactly what a person was thinking, and it creeped her out a little.

"You don't look eighteen," she answered finally. He looked fifteen. The boy shrugged. "No, I wouldn't."

Nanami decided to not think about that too much and instead moved to help situate Viktor around a table. "Hold on, there's food in the kitchen already." She rushed back to the kitchen, offered an abbreviated explanation to Hai Yo, and ladled up a large bowl of her stew.

"Here," she said, setting the stew down in front of the large man. "Eat." She went back to the kitchen.

Viktor mechanically moved his arm to pick up the spoon and raised it to his lips. Almost immediately after the stew entered his mouth, Viktor bolted upright, his eyes wide with shock. His two companions started in alarm.

"What's wrong with you?" Flik asked. His response was a loud retching as Viktor doubled over, dribbling the stew back into the bowl.

"Ew," Tir muttered, leaning away in disgust.

"What is this," Viktor spluttered.

"What is this, indeed," a cold voice drifted in from the doorway. The party turned to see Shu and Apple entering the restaurant. "I come here investigating a few drunkards disturbing the peace and instead I find you vomiting up your food looking like a Lizard Clan member with stomach flu."

"That was rude, Shu," Apple sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"Technically, only Viktor was drunk," Flik sighed, loosening his bandanna and wiping his forehead. "I hold my liquor much better than him and I'm fairly certain Tir is physically incapable of intoxication." The teen nodded in affirmation.

"Whatever your physical capabilities may be," Shu replied coolly,"I assume there is an explanation."

"There is." Viktor pointed down at the offending bowl of stew. "The explanation is that this is a travesty."

Shu raised one eyebrow. "The stew?"

"Damn straight. This is the worst food I have ever eaten." He turned to the two beside him. "Pardon my French, but may I ask what the flying fuck you were thinking as you fed me that?"

"We were trying to sober you up," Flik said.

"It seems to have worked," Tir chipped in bluntly.

"And we didn't feed it to you, Nanami did, and everyone knows she makes the..."

"Here!" Nanami announced as she returned laden down with two extra bowls."I figured the two of you might be hungry too."

"...best stew from here to Falena," Flik finished weakly.

"I'm sorry Lord Shu but you and Apple will have to wait a little longer if you want any," Nanamj was saying brightly. After she disappeared into the kitchen once more, Flik and Tir turned solemnly to their bowls. Viktor grabbed the teenager's arm.

"For Runes' sake Tir, don't eat the damn stew."

"What, no concern for me?" Flik asked with a slight smirk.

"I'm more worried about Tir because he's got Gremio cooking for him all the time, he's used to good food! Who knows what this could do to him?"

"Lord McDohl, I can honestly not believe I'm saying this," Shu began, "but out of concern for your health I will have to agree with Viktor."

"How bad can it be?" Tir said. "One bite won't really hurt me will it?" He raised the spoon to his mouth.

Frozen, the others watched as his dark eyes widened and his face turned a pale, sickly shade of green. Tir stiffly sat up and swallowed with a pained look on his face.

"Oh gods, he swallowed it," Apple moaned. Tir shot out of his chair and moved to the nearest plant, barely making it before he started vomiting. Apple followed and awkwardly patted him on the back.

"What is this?" Tir gasped when he was through.

"You see?" Viktor threw his hands into the air. "Nobody listens to me!"

"Your arguments never really hold much substance, you know," Flik sighed again, massaging his temple.

"What's going on?" a new voice spoke from behind the group, and when they turned they found a sleepy-looking Riou staring at them through tired brown eyes.

"Lord Riou, you're up," Shu said, a slight, uncharacteristic tremor faintly noticeable in his voice.

"This is kind of a weird group," Riou told them, then walked over to the vacated table and sat down. He pulled a bowl towards him. "Does this belong to anyone?"

The party let out a collective "NO!", but it was too late. Riou began eating, leaning his head on his arm...

...and not appearing to suffer any negative status effects.

"Why isn't he puking like everyone else?" Flik said in disbelief.

Apple's face was white. "Maybe he's...immune to it?"

Oblivious to the conversation, Riou put his head down in his arms and fell asleep again, due to not being much of a morning person. The other five quickly circled around him.

"I wonder if he's immune to regular poison too," Tir said in amazement.

"We are not testing that theory," Shu snapped back.

Nanami burst out of the kitchen. "Did I hear Riou in here?" She spotted him seated at the table, then ran and enveloped her brother in a hug. "You're up! Good morning Riou!"

Other than a mumbled "Please let go, Nanami..." there was no response.

Viktor grabbed Nanami's arm and spun her around. Gripping her shoulders, he said in a dead whisper "What the hell did you do to him?"

Nanami's confused look instantly turned angry.

"What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying I hurt my little brother?"

"The food! What did you do?"

"I never did anything! I've always made food for Riou, and he never had any problem with it!"

Silence reigned in the restaurant for a moment.

"So..." Tir struggle to get the words out. "He can't taste anything or pass out from your cooking because he's been eating it so long he's developed an immunity to it? That's rough."

He narrowly dodged the bowl Nanami chucked at his head.

"I don't know what you mean," Nanami snapped hotly. "There's never been anything wrong with my cooking and if there was Riou would have said so!" She turned to her brother, looking for agreement, and got nothing but a faint snore in return.

"Well, whatever," she glared. "I'm going to go help Hai Yo some more. People are starting to come in."

Looking around, the others saw it was true. Kinnison and Shiro had come in with Ayda, and Hanna had taken a seat near Valeria and Anita. Freed and Yoshino were standing in the doorway. Others were drifting in, and were scattered around the room.

"Oh gods, she's going to serve all of them?" Apple gasped.

"We need to prevent this," Shu commanded. "Someone go stop Hai Yo!"

Viktor and Flik dashed to the kitchen. Nanami was conveniently not in the room.

"Hai Yo!" Viktor yelled. "Nanami is out serving her shit stew to the entire army!"

It took a moment for the chef to register this, but when he did, he jumped about a foot into the air, turned bright purple, and dashed into the restaurant waving his hat and shrieking,

"Everyone get out of here! Get out and buy an antitoxin! Buy the best antitoxin you can! BUY AN ANTITOXIN THAT WAS SENT FROM THE HEAVENS ABOVE BY THE SWORD AND SHIELD THEMSELVES-"

That day, the general store noticed a dramatic increase in antitoxin sales, and for the first time the City-States of Jowston lamented their lack of Poison Control.


End file.
